How many times have you woken up in a perfectly happy mood? You swing your legs over the edge of the bed and stretch. This new day feels full of promise... and then you step on the scales. You didn't lose any weight this week or worse, your best efforts netted you a two pound gain. Suddenly the day is not looking so rosy.
That number on the scales has just influenced the outcome of your day. You're miserable. I know because that's happened to me many, many times during all of my weight loss attempts over the years. I'd feel great in my looser jeans but the scales said I'd gained a pound. Waaaaahhhhhh....what's the point in even trying? So off to the fridge I'd go to soothe my hurt feelings. Poor pitiful me.
I get on that thing, stand there naked and before I look down at that digital display, I swear to you that I send up a little prayer to the Fit Gods asking for a good number. Well the Fit Gods must be out jogging somewhere because prayin' ain't workin'!!
So, after repeating this cycle of elation (down a pound) and despair (up a pound) I've decided to not weigh myself for a while. The stupid contraption doesn't tell the whole story anyway!
Let's look at 2 women. Both are 5' 3". Both have similar medium frames. Both weigh 135 pounds. One wears size 6 the other wears size 12. How can that be?
The size 6 woman is very fit. She exercises moderately and lifts weights. She has displaced the fat pounds with muscles. Let's remember that a pound is a pound. 1 pound of muscle weighs the same as 1 pound of fat...but the fat takes up more space in your body than muscle does.
So when you gain muscle weight while getting rid of fat cells, it seems like you're not losing fat based on what the scales say. But wait a minute! Your clothes feel looser. So if you're "doing everything right" and you've incorporated exercise into your days, ditch the scales for a while and just measure your success with a measuring tape. You'll be a lot happier.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
STILL MEDITATING
Me again! It's been 15 days since I first started to meditate regularly. Well! Everything I was told would happen is happening. Yes!
Everyday (well almost), I go to a quiet room in the house, drop the blind, pop in the CD and I close my eyes. As I begin with the deep breathing exercises I'm able to clear out the mental chatter better and better all the time. It's not like I've hit guru status or anything, but it sure is nice to take that half hour out for myself.
Yesterday I had 2 lovely ladies in the art studio. Both powerful energy forces... the kind of energy that fills a big room and you can't help but be attracted to them. One of them made a comment that will stay with me forever. (As a teacher I always learn so much from my students!) This fit, trim, successful and energetic lady said, in passing... "I just don't understand how people say they have no time for self care."
Whoa! She didn't say people don't have time...she said that they say they don't have time. We're precious and we matter. I say I have time for self care because it's no longer negotiable. I only have this one shot in this human form on this planet and I'd better be the best that I can be.
So there's time for me to meditate, to exercise a bit and to make my meals from scratch. No one on Facebook is going to miss me if I don't show up every day.
What about you? Where in your day can you carve out time for some much needed self-care?
Everyday (well almost), I go to a quiet room in the house, drop the blind, pop in the CD and I close my eyes. As I begin with the deep breathing exercises I'm able to clear out the mental chatter better and better all the time. It's not like I've hit guru status or anything, but it sure is nice to take that half hour out for myself.
Yesterday I had 2 lovely ladies in the art studio. Both powerful energy forces... the kind of energy that fills a big room and you can't help but be attracted to them. One of them made a comment that will stay with me forever. (As a teacher I always learn so much from my students!) This fit, trim, successful and energetic lady said, in passing... "I just don't understand how people say they have no time for self care."
Whoa! She didn't say people don't have time...she said that they say they don't have time. We're precious and we matter. I say I have time for self care because it's no longer negotiable. I only have this one shot in this human form on this planet and I'd better be the best that I can be.
So there's time for me to meditate, to exercise a bit and to make my meals from scratch. No one on Facebook is going to miss me if I don't show up every day.
What about you? Where in your day can you carve out time for some much needed self-care?
Thursday, March 21, 2013
ONE LONELY CAN OF TUNA
Today I came across a tin of tuna in my pantry. All by itself. "Pick me! Pick me!" it seemed to say. OK, I'm game. What can I make today that will last into the weekend as a snack? What to do, what to do?
I perused the fridge and there was enough stuff in there that surely I could put something together. And boy am I glad I was in a creative culinary frame of mind this afternoon!
This recipe for Curried Tuna Spread is easy to make and it's economical too!
You can find a growing list of low carb ideas on my BEST LOW CARB RECIPES website.
I guess you can probably figure out I'm 100% committed to the low carb way of eating. What I've learned about being committed to something...anything 100% is that there's no going back.
It's a really amazing thing! I couldn't go back to (flawed) conventional wisdom and eat low fat / high fiber if you paid me! I'm not saying YOU can't get away with eating this way but I can't. So I needed to make that commitment and I did.
I'm not on a diet. This is my way of eating and it's the healthiest for ME.
I perused the fridge and there was enough stuff in there that surely I could put something together. And boy am I glad I was in a creative culinary frame of mind this afternoon!
You can find a growing list of low carb ideas on my BEST LOW CARB RECIPES website.
I guess you can probably figure out I'm 100% committed to the low carb way of eating. What I've learned about being committed to something...anything 100% is that there's no going back.
It's a really amazing thing! I couldn't go back to (flawed) conventional wisdom and eat low fat / high fiber if you paid me! I'm not saying YOU can't get away with eating this way but I can't. So I needed to make that commitment and I did.
I'm not on a diet. This is my way of eating and it's the healthiest for ME.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
STOP PUSHING MY BUTTONS!!
We all have them, don't we? Those buttons that people push.
You know your button has been pushed when you have a strong emotional reaction to a situation or a comment that's been made.
Let's look at some of my buttons. Here's a button-pushing comment I've heard a few times in my life from loved ones and acquaintances (who did not progress to become friends, I'll tell you that much!) "You would look so good if you lost some weight." The thought in my head immediately goes on the defensive with: "And you'd look awesome if you had a nose job!" But of course I don't say that out loud.
Here's another, "Should you be eating that?" I know it's wrong to want to throttle the ignoramus who thinks they can make comments like that! So I just sit and fume.
But, it's a new me and I'm doing some intensive work here. So, do I put up my dukes and stand up to the offenders? Or do I take a step back, take a deep breath and look inside for why I'm reacting in such a bad way.
When I let people push my buttons it makes me mad and then it makes me sad. That's the same as giving my power over to someone else! Well, I don't think that's really serving me well.
What I've realized is that I have a lot of insecurities as they relate to my weight and my poor body image (did I mention I'm a work in progress?).
I can choose a different reaction. I mean really, maybe the person who commented on my food choice was curious about my particular weight loss plan. And perhaps the comment on my appearance was well meant and intended to spur me on.
So let me role play. Act I, Scene 1:
I'm having lunch with a couple of girlfriends. Over the years we've had our fair share of diet ups and downs. Lunch arrives. They eat low fat / high carbs and I eat high fat / low carb. So when my bun-less burger, served with avocado slices, full fat cheese and a big ass salad covered in olive oil arrives at the table, it assaults their senses! "OMG! Should you be eating that?!?!"
My reply, "Oh yes. Eating this way has drastically reduced my LDL (bad cholesterol) and my triglycerides are vastly improved. As a matter of fact, I'm no longer pre-diabetic and I came off the blood cholesterol lowering meds. My stats are spectacular and I'm down almost 25 pounds. And I'm NEVER hungry between meals! Thanks for asking. How's your lunch?"
There! That felt so much better!
Act I, Scene 2: Someone I haven't seen in 10 years.... "Aww, you put some weight back on! You looked so good when you lost all that weight." OK, I have to fess up, this one is really hard for me. Deep breath. Nope, still feel like hitting something. Wait. Another deep breath, and another...OK.
My reply: "I know! I know! But I'm making some lifestyle adjustments and making my way back to being fab and fit. Remember all those little outfits I wore back them? Well that's my goal. I'm getting there. But best of all, my health is fantastic. I really envy your natural slimness. Great genes there!"
OK, I can do that...and mean it too. It feels so much more peaceful and empowering to approach things at this level. I'll be on the look out for the next time something pushes my buttons...and I'll take a few deep breaths, handle it with a positive approach and let it slide.
You know your button has been pushed when you have a strong emotional reaction to a situation or a comment that's been made.
Let's look at some of my buttons. Here's a button-pushing comment I've heard a few times in my life from loved ones and acquaintances (who did not progress to become friends, I'll tell you that much!) "You would look so good if you lost some weight." The thought in my head immediately goes on the defensive with: "And you'd look awesome if you had a nose job!" But of course I don't say that out loud.
Here's another, "Should you be eating that?" I know it's wrong to want to throttle the ignoramus who thinks they can make comments like that! So I just sit and fume.
But, it's a new me and I'm doing some intensive work here. So, do I put up my dukes and stand up to the offenders? Or do I take a step back, take a deep breath and look inside for why I'm reacting in such a bad way.
When I let people push my buttons it makes me mad and then it makes me sad. That's the same as giving my power over to someone else! Well, I don't think that's really serving me well.
What I've realized is that I have a lot of insecurities as they relate to my weight and my poor body image (did I mention I'm a work in progress?).
I can choose a different reaction. I mean really, maybe the person who commented on my food choice was curious about my particular weight loss plan. And perhaps the comment on my appearance was well meant and intended to spur me on.
So let me role play. Act I, Scene 1:
I'm having lunch with a couple of girlfriends. Over the years we've had our fair share of diet ups and downs. Lunch arrives. They eat low fat / high carbs and I eat high fat / low carb. So when my bun-less burger, served with avocado slices, full fat cheese and a big ass salad covered in olive oil arrives at the table, it assaults their senses! "OMG! Should you be eating that?!?!"
My reply, "Oh yes. Eating this way has drastically reduced my LDL (bad cholesterol) and my triglycerides are vastly improved. As a matter of fact, I'm no longer pre-diabetic and I came off the blood cholesterol lowering meds. My stats are spectacular and I'm down almost 25 pounds. And I'm NEVER hungry between meals! Thanks for asking. How's your lunch?"
There! That felt so much better!
Act I, Scene 2: Someone I haven't seen in 10 years.... "Aww, you put some weight back on! You looked so good when you lost all that weight." OK, I have to fess up, this one is really hard for me. Deep breath. Nope, still feel like hitting something. Wait. Another deep breath, and another...OK.
My reply: "I know! I know! But I'm making some lifestyle adjustments and making my way back to being fab and fit. Remember all those little outfits I wore back them? Well that's my goal. I'm getting there. But best of all, my health is fantastic. I really envy your natural slimness. Great genes there!"
OK, I can do that...and mean it too. It feels so much more peaceful and empowering to approach things at this level. I'll be on the look out for the next time something pushes my buttons...and I'll take a few deep breaths, handle it with a positive approach and let it slide.
Monday, March 18, 2013
HELLO MONDAY!
Monday is my weigh in day. I like to keep track. Monday keeps me accountable for the food choices I make over the weekend. It's a little mind game...I know I'm playing it but hey, it works for me...most of the time.
But last night's St-Paddy's festivities tested my resolve. I easily maneuvered around the food table. Lots of potatoes and other high carb fare to skip, but I'm used to that. So I nibbled on some cheese and had a small serving of Guinness stew. BUT, I must confess to imbibing in liquid cheer...some nice white wine.
Historically speaking, such a small indiscretion would have resulted in me tossing in the towel. That "all or nothing" attitude that used to plague me. Don't get me wrong, I still have perfectionism tendencies that I'm working on. But the diet mistakes I make from time to time, well, those I've just learned to accept and I just move on.
I didn't want to miss the experience of having a great time at the party. Why have to white-knuckle it all night when I could choose to treat myself? And past experience has shown that if I deprive myself for too long, I will more than make up for "doing without" in some other way at some other time. Trust me on that one!
On a happy note, I am down another 3 pounds this morning! YESSS! I had a treat, I enjoyed myself and everything is as it should be.
But last night's St-Paddy's festivities tested my resolve. I easily maneuvered around the food table. Lots of potatoes and other high carb fare to skip, but I'm used to that. So I nibbled on some cheese and had a small serving of Guinness stew. BUT, I must confess to imbibing in liquid cheer...some nice white wine.
Historically speaking, such a small indiscretion would have resulted in me tossing in the towel. That "all or nothing" attitude that used to plague me. Don't get me wrong, I still have perfectionism tendencies that I'm working on. But the diet mistakes I make from time to time, well, those I've just learned to accept and I just move on.
I didn't want to miss the experience of having a great time at the party. Why have to white-knuckle it all night when I could choose to treat myself? And past experience has shown that if I deprive myself for too long, I will more than make up for "doing without" in some other way at some other time. Trust me on that one!
On a happy note, I am down another 3 pounds this morning! YESSS! I had a treat, I enjoyed myself and everything is as it should be.
Friday, March 15, 2013
THE INNER CRITIC
As an art teacher, life and creativity coach, I see the inner critic in people all the time. The critic arrives at my studio (or over the phone) deeply lodged in my clients' bellies or hearts or heads. It's been living there for years and years and years.
I'll bet you can recognize it in an instant... it's that entity inside of you that reminds you you're not good enough, not talented enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not worthy...you get where I'm going here. What a pain this thing is! Just drags you down when you're poised to take great strides in your life. Sighhhh.......
And just when I think I've quieted down my own critic, it hits me... WHAM! POW! Right smack in the kisser! Owweee!!!
If you read my blog yesterday you may have read the paragraph where I said, "I’ve even made appointments with myself in my daily organizer. Try to treat my appointments with myself just as I would a client's. Hhmmm. That’s not working."
There! Right there! Did you see it?! That's the inner critic!! Oh, it didn't say I'm not important enough to keep dates with myself but that's exactly what it meant. Crafty huh? Just always lurking around, ready to pounce. Grrrr!
What's really cool though, is that once you recognize and address the dastardly critic you can swiftly kick its butt to the curb...depending on how big it is. In this case, it's not so big that I can't shrink it down to size. And on that note, I'm going to open my appointment book and find a slot for formal exercise from now on. I think I'm going to enjoy my time with me, myself and I (no room for the critic in here!)
Be on the look out for your own critic. What nagging voices are you giving your power over to? How is your critic holding you back?
I'll bet you can recognize it in an instant... it's that entity inside of you that reminds you you're not good enough, not talented enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not worthy...you get where I'm going here. What a pain this thing is! Just drags you down when you're poised to take great strides in your life. Sighhhh.......
And just when I think I've quieted down my own critic, it hits me... WHAM! POW! Right smack in the kisser! Owweee!!!
If you read my blog yesterday you may have read the paragraph where I said, "I’ve even made appointments with myself in my daily organizer. Try to treat my appointments with myself just as I would a client's. Hhmmm. That’s not working."
There! Right there! Did you see it?! That's the inner critic!! Oh, it didn't say I'm not important enough to keep dates with myself but that's exactly what it meant. Crafty huh? Just always lurking around, ready to pounce. Grrrr!
What's really cool though, is that once you recognize and address the dastardly critic you can swiftly kick its butt to the curb...depending on how big it is. In this case, it's not so big that I can't shrink it down to size. And on that note, I'm going to open my appointment book and find a slot for formal exercise from now on. I think I'm going to enjoy my time with me, myself and I (no room for the critic in here!)
Be on the look out for your own critic. What nagging voices are you giving your power over to? How is your critic holding you back?
Thursday, March 14, 2013
FITTING IT ALL IN – EXCUSES, EXCUSES!
The all time favorite excuse has to be…drum roll
please… “I don’t have time!” When I hear myself think or say, “I don’t
have time,” it rattles me. Makes me
nuts.
I’m sure your schedule and list of responsibilities matches
mine. Just trying to figure out how I can possibly fit everything in
that I need to get done in one day leaves me out of breath.
Seems like there’s no time left for me.
The things I need to do to achieve my weight loss success just fall further
down my list of priorities.
I’ve even made appointments with myself in my daily
organizer. Try to treat my appointments
with myself just as I would a client's
Hhmmm. That’s not working.
So far I’ve stayed away from watching television. YES!
And I don’t miss it. However,
other things have slipped in to take that chunk of time. Now I’m meditating 30 minutes a day and that’s
all good. But EXERCISE? Why is it so hard to fit it in?
Well, first off, duh!
If I BELIEVE it’s hard to fit it in, guess what, I’m right. If I BELIEVE it’s NOT hard to fit it in, I’m
right again! Whoo hoo! Hello genius!
I’ve read that any activity is better than none at all. OK. I'm game.
So what I’m hearing is that I don’t have to take up a whole chunk of
time in my day to dedicate to exercise.
Fine…. So what can I do, what can I do….tap, tap, tap...think, think, think.
Time to step outside the box and into the loo! Keep reading....
So there I was, sitting in the loo….true story.
I was washing my hands and while drying them, an idea popped into my
head. What would happen if every time I
needed to use the bathroom I did some exercise before re-opening the door?
OK, I’m up for this.
Sounds a little crazy, but hey, I’m on a mission here! My bathroom is not very spacious but I could
do squats and I could do some counter push-ups! That’s do-able.
So that’s what I’ve been doing… 3 sets of 10 push-ups for
the first visit and 3 sets of 10 squats for the next. I rotate all day long (I curse my diuretic though!!) And before I lay me down to sleep I throw
in some abdominal crunches. Voila! I’m on my way!
And with that, I feel really darn good about myself. How are you fitting in a little activity into your everyday?
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
NO PROBLEM-O! I CAN SEE THAT NOW.
I've been viewing my weight loss efforts as a challenge. Even phrasing it nicely by saying it's a challenging journey that I am on.
Hhhmmm.... I don't know why but that doesn't hang quite right in my gut (I trust my gut). Why not think of it as an opportunity instead? Problems and challenges hold such negative energy. They're so deeply entrenched in fear, really.
If I begin to look at losing weight in a different way and embrace the experience as an OPPORTUNITY, what does that look like or feel like? Hey, I'm getting a good sensation here!
Well, it feels kind of empowering to tell the truth. Every day I have an opportunity to make my body healthier. I have the opportunity to choose well and to reap the rewards of those choices. And as my body heals and transforms, I have the opportunity to help others realize the same.
I know! I know! Easy to say! But I seem to have arrived at a place where anything is possible if I can visualize it and assume it to be real RIGHT NOW. I mean, I have almost 50 pounds to lose and I'm not delusional about it...but I can see the new trimmer me vividly and I can imagine and know what it's like to be lighter. I feel the fabric of those skinny jeans sliding up my legs and the lovely flatness of my tummy. By keeping the vision alive I'm getting closer all the time.
I don't want to miss the opportunities that lay before me. These are not challenging times and there are no problems. None at all. Bring it on!
Hhhmmm.... I don't know why but that doesn't hang quite right in my gut (I trust my gut). Why not think of it as an opportunity instead? Problems and challenges hold such negative energy. They're so deeply entrenched in fear, really.
If I begin to look at losing weight in a different way and embrace the experience as an OPPORTUNITY, what does that look like or feel like? Hey, I'm getting a good sensation here!
Well, it feels kind of empowering to tell the truth. Every day I have an opportunity to make my body healthier. I have the opportunity to choose well and to reap the rewards of those choices. And as my body heals and transforms, I have the opportunity to help others realize the same.
I know! I know! Easy to say! But I seem to have arrived at a place where anything is possible if I can visualize it and assume it to be real RIGHT NOW. I mean, I have almost 50 pounds to lose and I'm not delusional about it...but I can see the new trimmer me vividly and I can imagine and know what it's like to be lighter. I feel the fabric of those skinny jeans sliding up my legs and the lovely flatness of my tummy. By keeping the vision alive I'm getting closer all the time.
I don't want to miss the opportunities that lay before me. These are not challenging times and there are no problems. None at all. Bring it on!
Monday, March 11, 2013
ON MEDITATION
On my journey of achieving optimal health, I've decided that meditation is to become a daily discipline. I've been reading a lot about the power of meditation and I'm convinced I need this in my life. On so many levels.
And just as soon as I uttered the words "I'm going to meditate" BAM!!! out came one of my ASSUMPTIONS. I barely got the meditation CD out of its jewel case and here I was re-hashing all the times I'd tried meditating before and how it never works for me. Who was I kidding? I've never been able to sit still for anything! Quiet my mind, never! And to further validate my inability to meditate, I got hit with a coughing fit in the first 2 minutes of the deep breathing exercise. Nope! This won't work at all, never has, never will.
OK, time to pull up my big girl panties. I've got to take a look at this never ending cycle. This is serious stuff blocking me from doing what I want to do. It's not like I'm being forced to meditate, I actually want to do it and learn to do it right. But if I keep this assumption alive, my goals of mastering meditation will never come to fruition. And that wouldn't be right.
So, let's think here...just because I haven't been able to meditate with any success in the past, why would it be so this time? Oh, right. It doesn't have to be so.
This time I put the CD in and I did my best. Did I get to a higher level? No. Was my mind quiet? A few seconds here and there. Was I able to shut out all the internal chatter? Not all that well. But hey, at least I did the whole 20 minute session. And I feel good about that. I look forward to meditating tomorrow.
What assumptions are keeping you from moving forward?
And just as soon as I uttered the words "I'm going to meditate" BAM!!! out came one of my ASSUMPTIONS. I barely got the meditation CD out of its jewel case and here I was re-hashing all the times I'd tried meditating before and how it never works for me. Who was I kidding? I've never been able to sit still for anything! Quiet my mind, never! And to further validate my inability to meditate, I got hit with a coughing fit in the first 2 minutes of the deep breathing exercise. Nope! This won't work at all, never has, never will.
OK, time to pull up my big girl panties. I've got to take a look at this never ending cycle. This is serious stuff blocking me from doing what I want to do. It's not like I'm being forced to meditate, I actually want to do it and learn to do it right. But if I keep this assumption alive, my goals of mastering meditation will never come to fruition. And that wouldn't be right.
So, let's think here...just because I haven't been able to meditate with any success in the past, why would it be so this time? Oh, right. It doesn't have to be so.
This time I put the CD in and I did my best. Did I get to a higher level? No. Was my mind quiet? A few seconds here and there. Was I able to shut out all the internal chatter? Not all that well. But hey, at least I did the whole 20 minute session. And I feel good about that. I look forward to meditating tomorrow.
What assumptions are keeping you from moving forward?
Sunday, March 10, 2013
I'M BUSTING OUT OF THIS PLATEAU!!!
Being stuck in a plateau is very frustrating for me. And if you're reading this, you can probably relate.
Recently I began to really pay attention to not so much what I'm eating but to my internal dialogue. And people, it's no wonder I'm stuck in this place. And upon deeper reflection, also stuck in other areas of my life.
Self-doubt kept showing up... "too lazy to exercise", "unmotivated", "fearful that I'll stay fat for ever", "not smart enough to follow the plan correctly"... Where did this come from?
I had a terrible belief that no one ever keeps the weight off permanently so why should I even bother? What a limiting experience this has been for me! Imagine my surprise when I heard that little voice way in the back of my head. Where did THAT come from?
On the surface I'm this positive, outgoing, supportive person...so how come I have this destructive energy trapped on the inside?
So the work, the REAL work has begun. It's time to break down some of my blocks and move toward the visions I now see clearly for myself. I expect this will be challenging but I'm ready.
So I'm starting to question the belief that no one ever keeps the weight off permanently.
1. In reality there is no truth to this belief. 2. I just read it or heard it somewhere. 3. Hanging on to this belief has me doing self-sabotaging things and not making any real progress. 4. I need to let this belief go. I actually have scads of books and magazines featuring people who have achieved permanent weight loss and good health. 5. I'm going to re-read those inspiring books and stories and believe that I too can lose the fat and keep it off permanently.
What are your limiting beliefs?
Recently I began to really pay attention to not so much what I'm eating but to my internal dialogue. And people, it's no wonder I'm stuck in this place. And upon deeper reflection, also stuck in other areas of my life.
Self-doubt kept showing up... "too lazy to exercise", "unmotivated", "fearful that I'll stay fat for ever", "not smart enough to follow the plan correctly"... Where did this come from?
I had a terrible belief that no one ever keeps the weight off permanently so why should I even bother? What a limiting experience this has been for me! Imagine my surprise when I heard that little voice way in the back of my head. Where did THAT come from?
On the surface I'm this positive, outgoing, supportive person...so how come I have this destructive energy trapped on the inside?
So the work, the REAL work has begun. It's time to break down some of my blocks and move toward the visions I now see clearly for myself. I expect this will be challenging but I'm ready.
So I'm starting to question the belief that no one ever keeps the weight off permanently.
1. In reality there is no truth to this belief. 2. I just read it or heard it somewhere. 3. Hanging on to this belief has me doing self-sabotaging things and not making any real progress. 4. I need to let this belief go. I actually have scads of books and magazines featuring people who have achieved permanent weight loss and good health. 5. I'm going to re-read those inspiring books and stories and believe that I too can lose the fat and keep it off permanently.
What are your limiting beliefs?
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